|Once Upon An Eden||
"Why can't you forget like the rest of us?"
"Michelle, none of what you say ever happened...Honey, stop spreading lies."
"You are mentally ill. That is the only reasonable explanation as to why all these decades you insist you were tortured and abused. We are a good upstanding family. We have prestigue, reputations and responsibility in this town. Every time you come [here/home] to visit, you under mind that just by being here -just by being YOU!"
"You have no proof that anything you say is true." -Family Member who closed down the office of my ob/gyn from the time I was eleven to about twenty-six years old and kept my records from being released.
WELL DO I HAVE NEWS!!!
I now have verification!
"BONES NEVER LIE" - Temperance "Bones" Brennan (by Kathy Reichs)
It is a common issue among many survivors of child torture or traumas and part of our continued abuse way into our adult years that our abusers will deny to our faces the crimes they inflicted upon us. That in itself becomes another form of mental and emotional abuse.
Well, after more than twenty years of trying to get my ob/gyn medical records that contained indications that would validate my child abuse, a recent trip to the chiropractor managed to reveal through X-ray the indications recorded upon my bones.
While this is quite the emotional relief, it is only the beginning of what is to come. It may not be comely of me to gloat as I am. Yet, I have to tell y'all it is like a life time of Christmases, birthdays and winning several multi-million dollars all rolled into one event.
I always said my health will not let me forget my childhood, which is true of just about every victim and survivor that I know no matter their age. And when requested to make my life into a movie, one of my excuses to hold up the process was for medical knowledge of the damage done to my body as a result of the abuses and tortures. I have the start of gathering this knowledge now. It has only been a week of having the results. I am still processing that I even have them. I haven't really studied them any more than when I was at the chiropractor's office. I will as I have the nerve. In the meantime, I am celebrating and basking in the validation.
Remember I am dealing with bone marrow issues and several terminal illnesses and a rare auto immune disease Mastocytosis which is also terminal and is indicative of cancer or is a type of cancer. Mastocystosis is usually treated as cancer. Because I have been through cancer treatment before and just do not want to go through that hell again, I am choosing the most natural yet practical methods that I can get away with. I see my health journey as another extension of my advocacy in that over the years what I have been learning about abuse and auto immune diseases and the treatments out there per condition, I do my best to make known.
Below is a link to go to in order to learn more about obtaining your medical records. If you have been abused or tortured or know of someone who has and is having trouble for one reason or another in obtaining their medical records, I highly recommend going to the chiropractor. If you or someone you may know has been abused or tortured and is suffering medically, I highly recommend that you see a chiropractor who also believes in holistic medical practices. For assistance in finding out more about obtaining your medical records or finding a chiropractor, please email firstname.lastname@example.org.
At the store for the balloons something happened that disturbed me. Do you think I could be quiet and mind my own business? No. not loud mouth me.
I took this photo in 2012, as I was roaming around and about Los Angeles. Seems like ages ago that the smog and chemicals were not an issue for me and I could go traipsing about to check tucked away businesses that stay out of the tourist's path that only the locals know about or to find some of my favorite people under bushes, bridges and other hide away places. Well now. That was a whole other life ago. Just four years in the past.
Now Tomorrow, I have another kind of adventure to go on...to go to the library to use it as my office (air conditioning!!!), and it is a test to see whether I can be in an environment with chemicals even limited amount. Where there are people, there are chemicals. The hope is that all this detoxing and being chemical free as possible in addition to taking my medicines has lowered my histamine levels to a level that I can tolerate being around people again without having to go to the ER or worse.
This past January after preaching in a nursing home, I ended up in the ER because the perfumes were too much for my system. Bummer to the nth degree. I miss my elders, especially the ones who were trusting Once Upon an Eden with their stories of child abuse, and being forced into participating in horrific experiments during the 1940's -1950's. In researching to learn more, so the next time they spoke with me, I could share with them coping tools, I learned such a dark side of American history that I did not know about. That also ended up leading to some more of my own healing and answers to questions that I had about myself and my family history. Meeting interesting people from all walks of life, being entrusted with their life stories, helping them helps me -all perks of this work.
I took this photo a few years ago (on a disposable camera that I found laying around unused), back in my hometown in 2009. It is difficult for me to return to that town. So over the years, I did my damnedest to stay away. Yet, this time I was here on doctors' orders to "make peace and get my house in order because death is imminent". I had died and had been dead for several hours months before due to an allergic reaction to Aspirin that I had taken for a tooth ache. After a long recovery and learning how to walk again here I was back in my hometown feeling trapped in a nightmare. Not only did I die in 2008, but often over a duration of several years before and twice in early 2009 and that is not even counting the comas. Yeah, I had a lot to process and think about. In addition I was not happy at having to do it in a place that reminded me of and held my secrets of my Silent Hill" kind of a past.