"They Wanted IT" is the boldface lie that predators tell themselves while they stalk and rape their victims. True that perhaps in the course of rape, the rapist/predator might tell their prey, "Tell me you like it", "Tell me you want it" and other some such. And under duress the victim complies repeating what the rapist/predator wants to hear.
Rape takes sexual acts and uses these acts or actions that in a healthy relationship are intimately nurturing and life giving to be used as a means of domination, power, control, manipulation, and in a very real sense mental, emotional, spiritual murder, and in instances where illnesses and diseases are passed on through the act or injury occurs physical murder (or trauma in cases of injury) . Rape is usually violent, but can also be not violent and in some strange sense the rapist can be 'gentle' or compassionate; it all depends on the attitude, mood and technique the rapist decides to have or use. Cases like this can be even more traumatizing when the body responding to a physical act it was designed for shows stimulation and responds to that stimulation totally counter reacting to the victim's actual self will. Not matter what 'style' the rapist/predator uses, what is certain is that Rape is a violation of someone's will. If a person is not ready for sex. Not wanting sex. It is Rape. NO is NO! For both men and women! Men can be and are also raped by other men and by women. Emphatically yes! Women to are rapists and that fact needs to be addressed more often and dealt with in the same manner and attitude as a male rapist! Which it is not!
No one ever asks to be raped unless it is in a mutual relationship where there is a playful fantasy element. But even then safety precautions are seen and adhered too. For instance boundaries are established, code words and their meanings agreed upon and so on. That is way different than what is actually being discussed here. A man or woman saying 'ravish me' or 'rape me' and they are in a mutual relationship of mutual loving respect and understanding knowing their partner is really not being a bit rough to manipulate or harm them or overpower them is not the same as a person stalking, grooming, prepping their prey and/ or manipulating, overpowering and forcing themselves upon their prey. And if the element of playful fantasy is not there, then it is indeed rape. Yes, folks spouses can rape each other and be prosecuted for it. It is a crime to rape your spouse if it is proven that it was not a playful fantasy being enacted or if your spouse just flat out said, "no".
And yes, spouses have the right to say no.
It is the author's opinion that when relationships are working as they should that there is not a reason to say no or not have sex with your spouse, even for a headache as on orgasm is very good for a headache. However, relationships are not one hundred percent as they should be and often times that is because past traumas that the spouse endured through rape end up influencing the sexual relationship of the couple. The issues can and should be worked through, if the spouse or significant other desiring the sexual relationship does not push the issue and remains nurturing and caring. And if the spouse or significant other who is withholding will allow for their own healing and respond welcoming the nurturing and care of their spouse or significant other. In other words, respect the "no" desiring spouse. Do not let the "no" last forever desired spouse. People do not marry to be celibate. (A different issue we will get to at another time.) However, just because one marry's does not mean they have given themselves over to be raped either. One does not lose their autonomy and individuality when marrying. One enters into a partnership and as partners decisions are to be made and felt good about and activities are to be enjoyed -specifically in regards to sex which especially in the sacred union of a committed relationship is to be another form of expressing pleasant favorable interesting nurturing communication and enjoying this particular element of the committed relationship. Sex can either be used as a weapon against another person, or a physical act that is as mundane as going to the toilet, or it can be fun and also a sacred act where one feels worshiped or the god or goddess as he or she was designed. Like feeling what Creator felt when he created the heavens and the earth and Mankind.
Useful, helpful tip in every sexual relationship, if the person said "No". No means No! In every committed relationship, respect "the No" but do not let the "No" invade the other areas of the relationship or rule. Do what needs to be done to put the "No" to rest and then get back to enjoying each other.
"No one is immune to being a predator's target. And no one asks to be raped."
It does not matter how a person is dressed. It does not matter what class or strata of life and culture the person victimized comes from. All are subject to be preyed upon and all deserve to be treated with upmost care and respect as any human being should be. It does not matter what class or strata of life and culture the predator comes from. He or she needs to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law without exception. Sadly, exceptions are made and victims are often the prosecuted and blamed. While the violators, the predators, are often little affected with consequence to their actions the victim/survivors must endure long term lasting affects that invade many details of their lives and the lives of those who love them.
However, there is a species among us that look human and act so human that we are loathed to blame or find fault in case of accusing a person of such vicious vile monstrous behavior of the most hideous garish type just in case we are accusing a person and not a predator and the charges are false.
However, our fears of being wrong prevent us from acknowledging what we know is there and so therefore keep us still . In that stillness of "wait and see what will happen" we do nothing to protect ourselves, or each other, or our children and just chose to victim blame and make lame excuses or even worse pretend to take action on the part of the victim when in fact we are strengthening the predators. Stillness works for scared rabbits who have camouflage and quick feet to protect them. That stillness does nothing for our children who rely on we adults to protect them. Protect your children!
Do not ever excuse the monster preying upon your family members even if the predator is one of your own family members or a good family friend.
Identify the predator and take steps to protect yourself and loved ones. And if you have a predator in your home, family, circle of influence or community you have a responsibility to take pro - active steps to protect yourself and loved ones.
If you are the predator. Then you have the responsibility to acknowledge that you are indeed a predator. If you have predatory inclinations and have not acted at all then seek help, support and give yourself over to that help and support for the rest of your life. However, expect to be held to the fullest standards of law if/when you have acted upon the predatory inclinations knowing you do not deserve anything less than the fullest conviction of the
law because in a very real sense you have committed mental, emotional, spiritual murder and more or likely have done some serious mental, emotional, spiritual, physical and financial damage to your victim and loved ones for the rest of your victim's life. And for the life not in your grave, do not consider yourself a hero or virtuous because you have not molested or raped a child! Base point of being a healthy human being is that human beings do not molest, or rape children because healthy human beings have no inclination or proclivities to do to anything other than actually caring and protecting children from danger i.e. YOU! A HEALTH HUMAN PROTECTS THEIR CHILD(ren) FROM DANGER -FROM YOU!!!
Babies do not ask to be raped however, babies are raped and die of oral asphyxiation. Toddlers do not ask to be raped but contract numerous STD's or die of the trauma to the body. Children do not ask to be raped but there they are exploited, used, abused, and in cases of SRA tortured, and often when they grow up forgetting, now adults living somewhat normal lives, their past tortures come to haunt them in the form of memories, photos and videos circulated on the internet or vicious rumors that no one will let them live down. Teenagers do not ask to be raped. Even in the attempts to explore their newly found sexual identity. Teenagers are children blossoming into youthful adults coming into their own individual sexual allure. They need nurturing and guidance more than ever, this makes them prime targets for the predator or predators.
College students away from home and boundaries wanting to commune and bond with like minded party the night away. All it takes is a drug in a drink or too much to drink or even nothing to drink but the threat of pressure and viola instant rape/instant rapist. And if the young man was raped by a female predator and she bares a child, he very well may have to pay for child support until the time that child is considered an adult by the courts. Grown men and women are also susceptible to rape, for the same reasons or methods of manner a college student is set up
or targeted for rape. And as family laws are now, if a woman conceives due to being raped the rapist can legally bring custody procedures even while incarcerated. And if he is made to pay child support he will have your contact information. Even the elderly and hospital patience can be raped. Military personnel both male and female are raped. No one is immune to being a predator's target. And no one asks to be raped.
"No one is immune to being a predator's target. And no one asks to be raped."
( firstname.lastname@example.org )
The text is amazing. People must be really careful. There are to many sexual victims in the world. The question is how to help those people? Is education important or something else.