SWEET REALITY
Michelle Carmela Saldana
“I am so glad to be awake!” she said crawling up onto my lap.
“So you had a good nap”? I asked, tweaking her little nose.
“Nope.” She replied most seriously. “Daddy I had a scary dream.”
“Tell me.” I replied
“Ok, Daddy, but I will need to hold you tight with all my might so you don’t get a scared.” And she did
“Close your eyes so you can see the pictures.”
With my eyes closed I saw the picture of every syllable she spoke…
“I was in mommy’s belly safe, warm, happy. Then for some reason I was gone.
Mommy was sad and you were angry. You both wanted me back but I was gone forever.”
“That will never happen, dear. Mommy loves you and you are right here.”
“There is more, daddy.” She whispered.
I closed my eyes again. And she said…
“I was playing with my friends. Then they told me they couldn’t play with me because I was different. I did not know what that meant. I was sad, lonely, confused, angry. I watched them as they left one by one and realized they are just like me –different.”
“Oh, Darling, I am so sorry!” I hugged her tightly.
“Daddy, it was just a dream. Please stop interrupting.” She scolded sternly.
“You and Mommy were fighting, then hitting, screaming and throwing things. Then you got a thing called a divorce and I had to go to school and back and forth between two houses. It was a lot of tiring exhausting work for all of us.
Then I grew up. I wanted to go to college school but we did not have much money. I went to a place called the military. Soon the people there sent me to a place called war. I wasn’t sure why I was at war, but I was to fight and kill the other people who did not look like me. That was just about everyone there actually. “
“Oh, Dear. I am so sorry.” I said as I wiped away her giant tears from her little face.
“Daddy, when I was done, little kids like me was gone. So were their mommies, daddies, everyone. The animals were gone too. Animals were trapped in places that were so cruel or they were kept in animal jails called zoos. Those were the nicer places sadly. And even worse, Daddy, were what my eyes did see done to the animals roaming free in their own homes in fields and living in trees. They were shot with drugs, and parts of them cut away. When they woke up they were missing their legs, feet, and parts of their faces. Then they died, Daddy, broken, in pain, crying, alone.
“The sky was yucky. No one could breathe. Everywhere, people’s eyes hurt to see. They wore glasses, masks and machines. The dirt was yucky too. The grass and water were brown. We were always thirsty, always sick, always hurting. “
My little girl and I held each other tight; each of us with tears in our eyes.
“Daddy, I am glad to be here awake with you and Mommy. I am glad none of those bad things will ever come true.”
As she buried her face in my neck, I did not have the heart to tell my baby girl, her nightmare was once my world. Instead, I held her tight, then pulled her back to look her in the eyes. “Mommy and I are happy to be here awake with you too. “
Michelle Carmela Saldana
“I am so glad to be awake!” she said crawling up onto my lap.
“So you had a good nap”? I asked, tweaking her little nose.
“Nope.” She replied most seriously. “Daddy I had a scary dream.”
“Tell me.” I replied
“Ok, Daddy, but I will need to hold you tight with all my might so you don’t get a scared.” And she did
“Close your eyes so you can see the pictures.”
With my eyes closed I saw the picture of every syllable she spoke…
“I was in mommy’s belly safe, warm, happy. Then for some reason I was gone.
Mommy was sad and you were angry. You both wanted me back but I was gone forever.”
“That will never happen, dear. Mommy loves you and you are right here.”
“There is more, daddy.” She whispered.
I closed my eyes again. And she said…
“I was playing with my friends. Then they told me they couldn’t play with me because I was different. I did not know what that meant. I was sad, lonely, confused, angry. I watched them as they left one by one and realized they are just like me –different.”
“Oh, Darling, I am so sorry!” I hugged her tightly.
“Daddy, it was just a dream. Please stop interrupting.” She scolded sternly.
“You and Mommy were fighting, then hitting, screaming and throwing things. Then you got a thing called a divorce and I had to go to school and back and forth between two houses. It was a lot of tiring exhausting work for all of us.
Then I grew up. I wanted to go to college school but we did not have much money. I went to a place called the military. Soon the people there sent me to a place called war. I wasn’t sure why I was at war, but I was to fight and kill the other people who did not look like me. That was just about everyone there actually. “
“Oh, Dear. I am so sorry.” I said as I wiped away her giant tears from her little face.
“Daddy, when I was done, little kids like me was gone. So were their mommies, daddies, everyone. The animals were gone too. Animals were trapped in places that were so cruel or they were kept in animal jails called zoos. Those were the nicer places sadly. And even worse, Daddy, were what my eyes did see done to the animals roaming free in their own homes in fields and living in trees. They were shot with drugs, and parts of them cut away. When they woke up they were missing their legs, feet, and parts of their faces. Then they died, Daddy, broken, in pain, crying, alone.
“The sky was yucky. No one could breathe. Everywhere, people’s eyes hurt to see. They wore glasses, masks and machines. The dirt was yucky too. The grass and water were brown. We were always thirsty, always sick, always hurting. “
My little girl and I held each other tight; each of us with tears in our eyes.
“Daddy, I am glad to be here awake with you and Mommy. I am glad none of those bad things will ever come true.”
As she buried her face in my neck, I did not have the heart to tell my baby girl, her nightmare was once my world. Instead, I held her tight, then pulled her back to look her in the eyes. “Mommy and I are happy to be here awake with you too. “
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